When School Anxiety Shows Up as Misbehavior

Not Just “Acting Out”

A child who’s melting down every morning before school, constantly “forgetting” homework, or refusing to participate in class might not be lazy or defiant—they might be anxious.

School anxiety doesn’t always look like worry. For many kids, it shows up in disguised ways: stomachaches, outbursts, avoidance, or even misbehavior that gets them sent out of class. When the nervous system is overwhelmed, some kids shut down. Others fight back. Either way, something deeper is going on.

What’s Behind the Behavior?

School anxiety can be triggered by a range of underlying issues that aren’t always easy to spot. Some kids live in fear of academic failure or embarrassment, worried they’ll fall behind or be judged for not knowing the answer. Others deal with intense social anxiety and a fear of peer judgment that makes even walking into the classroom feel overwhelming.

For some, the sensory overload of a busy, noisy school environment becomes too much to manage. Executive functioning struggles can add to the mix, making everyday tasks like organizing assignments or following routines feel impossible. And in many cases, past experiences of bullying or simply feeling unsafe at school linger in the background, heightening emotional reactivity. While some children can put these feelings into words, many can’t. When that happens, their behavior becomes the message.

Clues to Watch For

Some common signs of anxiety-driven behavior:

• Refusing to go to school or frequent nurse visits

• Complaints of physical symptoms with no medical explanation

• Sudden anger or shutdown around schoolwork

• Talking back, zoning out, or constant interruptions

• Avoiding certain classes or peers

  
  

If these patterns are consistent, it’s worth exploring what might be going on beneath the surface.

How Parents and Educators Can Help

First, shift the lens: instead of “What’s wrong with this kid?” ask “What’s happening to this kid?” Approaching from a place of curiosity, not control, opens the door to real solutions.

Give kids language for their feelings. Reflect what you’re noticing: “I wonder if math feels really hard lately. Could that be why you’re avoiding it?”

Collaborate on coping tools. Things like movement breaks, visual schedules, or supportive check-ins can make a big difference.

And most importantly—let them know their feelings are valid. Being scared, stressed, or overwhelmed doesn’t mean they’re bad or broken. It means they’re human.

When to Seek Support

If your child’s school anxiety is escalating, interfering with their ability to learn, or affecting their relationships, therapy can help. At SoMi Counseling, we work with kids and teens to build self-awareness, coping strategies, and emotional regulation skills—so they can feel more confident and in control.

You don’t have to handle school anxiety alone. We’re here to support your family through the school year, one step at a time.